Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice (12A)

Rating:

Here, for once, is a movie that lives up to its billing. Batman v Superman is being energetically promoted as an ‘epic superhero journey like no other', and that's quite true.

For unlike most other recent superhero films, certainly those from the Marvel stable, it is incoherent, tedious and largely devoid of wit.

It is also thunderously loud, which goes with the territory, but there are times when I don't mind sacrificing my eardrums and times when I do. After two-and-a-half hours, the super power I most craved myself was an ability to doze through explosions.

From start to finish, Zack Snyder's film judders with its own self-importance, piling up allusions to God, the 9/11 attacks and the spectre of nuclear holocaust as if we're meant to take any of this stuff seriously

From start to finish, Zack Snyder's film judders with its own self-importance, piling up allusions to God, the 9/11 attacks and the spectre of nuclear holocaust as if we're meant to take any of this stuff seriously.

Maybe suspicions should have been raised by the title. What they thought would be its big selling-point turns out to be the film's fatal flaw. 

Hamlet didn't get angsty with Macbeth, Oliver Twist never buddied up with David Copperfield, and Batman and Superman were not meant to fight each other. It's a narrative powered by a dodgy premise.

Here, for once, is a movie that lives up to its billing. Batman v Superman is being energetically promoted as an ‘epic superhero journey like no other', and that's quite true. Pictured: Ben Affleck (Batman) and Henry Cavill (Superman)

On the other hand, chaps notionally on the same side do fall out. Take David Cameron and Iain Duncan Smith. They don't quite represent the same clash of irresistible force and immovable object, but I'd almost rather watch those two at loggerheads than Henry Cavill's Man of Steel and Ben Affleck's Caped Crusader.

What's Affleck doing in the cape anyway? He's well over 40 now, and showing it around the eyes. Who wants to see crow's feet on Batman?

It looks as if Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot, pictured) might go and steal the show from under their aquiline noses, but then she, erm, doesn't

The BASIC story, buried under a jumble of half-formed ideas, semi-realised, has Batman's alter ego, billionaire Bruce Wayne, and his loyal butler Alfred (an unshaven, most un-butlerlike Jeremy Irons), becoming as intrigued as everyone else on the planet by Superman's exploits and motives.

The fellow with underpants over his tights, aka newspaperman Clark Kent, has an admirable habit of rescuing folk, but seems rather too powerful for his own good, and is duly the subject of an official government investigation chaired by Senator Finch (Holly Hunter).

In fact, they should all be much more worried about the dastardly schemes of Wayne's fellow billionaire Lex Luthor (a suitably nutty, tic-laden performance by Jesse Eisenberg), who finally contrives a way of forcing the two superheroes to engage in gladiatorial combat.

I sat up just a bit at the hint of a neat right-on joke when it looks as if Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) might go and steal the show from under their aquiline noses, but then she, erm, doesn't.

Otherwise, there are a few nice moments, but so there jolly well should be, considering the budget was reportedly in the region of $410 million — nearly £300 million — making it one of the most expensive movies ever made.

Besides, the nice moments tend to be the quieter ones, like a fully clothed Clark Kent and a naked Lois Lane (Amy Adams) canoodling in the bath.

Of course, superhero films are excessive by definition. But an excess of plot never helped anyone.

As the action lurches around the globe, from the Indian Ocean to Africa to Paris to a windy mountain-top where Superman bumps into his old dad (a pointless cameo by Kevin Costner), and back to the blighted twin cities of Gotham and Metropolis, I felt increasingly as though Snyder and his screenwriters (don't take a bow, Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer) were on their own private joyride, and to hell with the rest of us.

This is the second film in the so-called DC Extended Universe franchise, following 2013's Man Of Steel, also directed by Snyder. There are many more yet to come.

But if they don't get better, if the folk behind them don't realise, as the Marvel crowd have, that superheroes and solemnity do not mix, then not even Superman will be able to drag Warner Brothers, the studio behind this absurdly bloated exercise, out of the mire.

Zootropolis (PG) 

Rating:

From Metropolis to Zootropolis, and here is a film, directed by Byron Howard, Rich Moore and writer Jared Bush, to brighten up anybody's Easter weekend.

Disney have almost 90 years of form in anthropomorphising animals, but they have rarely done it with as much wit as in this funny, charming, gripping, altogether delightful animation, about a rabbit, Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin), who grows up in Bunny Burrow yearning to be a cop even though her parents and 275 brothers and sisters are content with being rural carrot farmers.

Disney have almost 90 years of form in anthropomorphising animals, but they have rarely done it with as much wit as in this funny, charming, gripping, altogether delightful animation, about a rabbit

Judy duly realises her dream, thanks to the police academy's Mammal Inclusion Initiative in the nearby city of Zootropolis, ‘where anyone can be anything'.

That's true enough: the mayor is a lion (J.K. Simmons), the police chief is a buffalo (Idris Elba), and the most famous pop star is a gazelle, called Gazelle (Shakira).

Zootropolis has no human beings, but it is a hotbed of crime and corruption even without human intervention, and there's something particularly sinister going on: previously sociable animals are turning rabidly aggressive. Judy and her friend Nick Wilde, a fox (Jason Bateman), must find out why and how.

What's especially wonderful about this film (which in the U.S. is called Zootopia, a much better title) is the way it will appeal across the generations.

What's especially wonderful about this film (which in the U.S. is called Zootopia, a much better title) is the way it will appeal across the generations 

Children will love it for the talking animals, but there are some priceless gags for grown-ups, including an office full of bureaucratic sloths, who take forever even to utter a sentence, and lots of perky references to classic films and TV shows such as Breaking Bad and, hilariously, The Godfather.

It even packs the profound and timely message that all the species should shrug off prejudices and preconceptions about each other and try to get along, but in a playful rather than sanctimonious way.

I watched it in a roomful of film critics, never the easiest bunch to please, yet the auditorium, with not a child in sight, resounded with laughter throughout.

Ellis Barnes-Church, 11, reviews Zootropolis 

Pictured: Ellis Barnes-Church, 11

Zootropolis (PG) 

Rating:

Zootropolis is a story about the struggles of society and overcoming who you are on the outside and becoming a better person - all told by talking animals.

When the first bunny cop Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin) leaves her home and moves to the vast city of Zootropolis, where anyone can be anything, her high hopes are lowered when she gets parking duty.

She meets a sly fox con-artist called Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) who has to team up with Judy to solve the case of a missing otter. As the case deepens, it reveals that there is more to it than had been expected...

When a city itself is the name of a movie, it has to have character. And the city of Zootropolis has enough character to float a boat.

The architecture is amazing. From the rainforest district and ice neighbourhood to the travel tubes that the hamsters whizz through, the city manages to provide a home for everyone.

One of the best scenes is with the sloths, which will soon be a classic. It is funny because everyone gets so impatient when things take so long — and the sloths take forever to do everything. People in the cinema laughed out loud.

My younger brother and sister didn't notice, but the film is littered with references to previous movies, and there is a great Frozen joke with duke Weaselton (bravo Disney) and his shop of pirated films — Wreck-it Rhino and Pig Hero 6 — plus clues to future Disney films Moana and Gigantic.

Overall, Zootropolis is a funny movie.

But one question remains, if every creature in the city is equal, what do the carnivores eat?